When I read that another major burger chainstore had set foot on local soil and had plans of making Singaporeans obese (quoted from my girlfriend who stared in disguise when I devoured the burger, the smallest one, like a Tyrannosaurus Rex), I felt like Harold who dreams of finding that elusive White Castle, with its big, bouncing, juicy, almost errotic-looking burgers.

And so I did embark on a journey in search of Carl's Jr, one of the latest American fast-food chains in Singapore. I am sure most of you would have seen their advertisements before, be them bumper stickers featuring a "Superstar" (which is the name of one of the burgers) with a line saturated with sexual connotations (eg. She tells you that size doesn't matter. She's lying.) or their latest TV ad which hmmm... leaves you drooling, in desire for buns. It features a perpetually naked I-am-so-rich-I-can-crash-a-Bentley Paris Hilton washing a ,well, Bentley and chomping on a Carl's Jr junior. Sex and burgers are sinful together, and you can check out the video at this if you don't believe me.

Back to my adevnture then, and lo-and-behold, did I stumble upon the restaurant. It is not the destination that matters, but the journey itself. Okay I may sound so stupid typing this but I have finally discoverd the main entrance to the newly renovated Marina Square. And woah, that place packs a punch heavy enough to dent the retail shops in the building next to it (which is Suntec City Mall). Lines of stores specialising in whatever brands you like fill that huge place from top to bottom, with defining themes for each floor. At the first level, you can indulge in restuarants such as Swensen's, Cafe Cartel, Carl's Jr and other cafes. Second floor's pretty much adult wear and the third floor, which used to house the "very interesting" archery centre and cinema was revamped into a floor catering to the youth of the nation, very much like Parco's the Edge and Far East shopping centre.

Wait a minute. The above paragraph sounds like Marina Square paid me to write that. Damn.

Anyway, I found the "monster burger" store residing in a corner in the first level. What happened next was totally planned. We sat, contemplated on which burger to buy while I looked and stared at the burger the dude at the next table was chomping, and then decided on the smallest, most harmless looking "Famous Star" with its single beef patty. It came after a while and my girlfriend lost her appetite. I then mounted on a challenge to kill the monster burger while she irked at the sight of overflowing cheese and beef and salsa chilli. Seriously, the smallest burger there could have been bigger than your face. No wonder they say their burgers are for adults. No kidding man, its the burger for men. Boys can't do this shit.

We left the place then, me feeling satisfied, gratified, mollified while she was petrified. I guess it was kinda a double experience for us. She said she would never step foot into that "monster place with its monster burgers and monsters devouring them" while I promised that I'll be back to conquer the Portobello Mushroom Burger (so named once the baby mushroom burger had grown to more than 10cm in diameter, so says the advert). Spent the rest of the time trying to digest that beef in me, while she lumbered around in partial starvation (only ate the fries). Sorry babe!

Well, I leave you guys wondering with a picture of a Portobello Mushroom burger. Any guys willing to take the plunge with me? Okay I promise I'll go running sometime.

Mr Black is a current undergraduate who resides in Singapore. This blog is a non-whimsical reflection of his life and the society in which he lives in at large.

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